Carie was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when she heard it.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
She paused and frowned. Holding the electric toothbrush in her mouth, she switched it off to be sure the noise wasn’t just the rattle of her teeth.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Her shoulders slumped and she looked down towards the sink, shaking her head. She recognized that knock. Vasily was tenderizing her door with his knuckles again.
He must have been perturbed.
Carie sighed then spat the toothpaste out of her mouth.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
“Yes. Yes,” she muttered as she shuffled her bare legs and feet like a geisha through her apartment, tying the sash of her hot pink mini-kimono robe. Once at the entrance, she stood there for a moment, arms crossed, glaring suspiciously at the wood door. “What is it, Vasily?”
“Open door.” His voice growled from his gut. “Let me in.”
Carie leaned back, spiking a brow. “Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin.”
She could practically hear the steam blowing out through his ears like a cooked lobster. Something sounding like the rumble of a motor boat engine reverberated on the other side of the door. It was Vasily grumbling in Russian.
Uh-oh. Carie’s brow knitted with concern. Often when she had gotten under her neighbour’s skin, his grasp of English grammar and vocabulary would slip. However, whenever she had really ticked him off he’d go full “Rooskie”.
As he continued to mutter in his native dialect, she knew he was really pissed tonight. Too bad she had no idea what she could have possibly done… this time.
Thinking better of it, Carie stretched a smile across her face and opened the door. “Yes? What can I do for yo–ow!”
She was greeted with a piece of paper stuffed at her face, so close that it bopped her button nose. She jumped back, but the paper was pressed forward, still held out an inch from her eyes.
“Vasily! What the hell?” she exclaimed, turning her head aside left and right, the paper continuing to smother her view.
“What is this?” Vasily droned. “Why was this sent to me?”
“I don’t know! Let me look at it! Stop it! I can’t see!” Carie swatted his hand away and snatched the piece of paper from his fingers. She puffed away the hair that had fallen across her face then checked the paper and said, “It’s an envelope.”
Her looming neighbour from across the hall snatched the goldenrod envelope back. “Who is Cindy?” he asked, his thick accent pronouncing it like “Scene-dee”.
“I said I don’t know!” she huffed. “Let me see it.”
She reached for the envelope but he held it up and away from her. He was so tall and she was so petite, he just had to stretch his arm toward the ceiling and she had no chance of getting it even if she jumped.
Vasily continued to hold it aloft as he read the front of the envelope. “‘Cindy’s Sinful Secrets’,” he said.
“Cindy’s Sinful Secrets…?” Carie blinked and frowned as she paused for thought. Then her brows perked up as her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh! No way! Give it over!”
Vasily silently glared at her for a moment, then he grudgingly handed over the envelope.
Carie immediately tore it open and pulled out the letter. She quickly scanned through it.
“What is this?” Vasily interrupted, pointing at her mouth.
She paused to wipe the edge of her lip. It was toothpaste. She shrugged. “I missed my rabies shot.”
Vasily simply stared and sighed loudly, “No kidding.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Shut up for a sec,” she said as she resumed reading. Her eyes lit up and she had a giddy bounce in her heels. “Oh my God! You won! I mean we won!”
“Who won what?”
She held up the letter and a gold-leaf embossed gift card. “This! We won a gift card for this store!” she said. She checked the card. “Holy shit! Five hundred bucks!”
She looked up at him, beaming. Vasily continued to stand there, his expression cast in stone. The thin red line behind the scruff of his full-day’s worth of growth remained unflinching until he finally spoke, “How?”
“It was from a prize draw at the Erotigasm Adult Expo down at the convention centre last month,” Carie explained excitedly.
“I did not go to the Adult Expo,” Vasily replied.
“No, but a bunch of my friends and I did,” she said.
Vasily tapped the letter with his finger. “So how?”
“Well, it was only one ballot entry per person.” She paused, thinking that might be enough to flick the switch in his brain, but then she realized it would probably be easier to wipe up a puddle with a cement brick. “So… I filled one out with your name, too.”
“So we could win!” she chirped. She clutched the letter in both her hands and shook it in his face. “And it worked! We won!”
Vasily continued to look on as if he was watching two snails in a drag race, but Carie didn’t care. “Five hundred bucks,” she repeated, her heart racing, “I can get so much awesome stuff with this!”
“I can get so much awesome stuff,” Vasily said, snapping the letter and card from her once more.
Carie stood izmit rus escort empty handed, stunned. “But…”
“Letter is addressed to me,” he said. He held it up and pointed to the print. “See? ‘Va-si-ly Ne-sy-vy-a…”
“Okay! Okay!” Carie snapped. If Vasily spoke any slower, he’d be cited for loitering. “But I filled out the ballot. You wouldn’t have even won if I didn’t enter your name.”
“My name, my win. Card is mine.”
“But what are you going to do with it?” she asked, adding indignantly, “It’s not as if you can buy anything you can eat!”
Something passing as a grin ticked onto his lips. “I can buy my mama gift,” he said and turned around.
Carie’s jaw flopped, dumbfounded. She followed him into the hallway as he crossed over to his apartment. “Oh, yeah? Did your mom wear out her peephole bra already?”
“Card is mine,” he repeated flatly with his stout accent, as he went into his apartment.
“How about a ball gag for her when she goes for tea?” she continued.
“Card is mine,” he rattled on with the slightest lilt in his voice, as he turned to face her. Then he closed the door on her.
Fists clenched at her side, Carie leaned towards the door to Apartment Seven and yelled, “Merry Christmas, mom! Here, stir your Stroganoff with your new purple vibrating dildo!”
Vasily replied by booming techno music from inside his apartment.
Carie stared impotently at his door for a minute. As she turned around, she spotted Old Lady Cooper, her neighbour in Apartment Six, standing in the hallway in her bathrobe and slippers holding her cat, looking back at her.
“I could use a new dildo,” Mrs. Cooper said meekly with a hopeful smile.
Carie blinked then flicked back her long, black hair over her shoulder and tugged the collar of her kimono closed. “The whole world could use a new dildo, Mrs. Cooper,” she sighed as she went back into her apartment.
It had been about a year since Carie and Vasily had their first impromptu coital encounter in her apartment during a rather unexpectedly heated haircut session. They had exchanged maybe about two dozen complete sentences prior to that since he moved in across the hallway. Since then, they had a number of sexual engagements all within the pretty narrow range between lewd and lustful.
They hung out together sometimes, trying to make some other connections with each other. In the end, though, their most significant social calls were always good, stiff fuck sessions and nothing more. Then they’d both go back to their respective apartments and eat potato chips or whatnot.
It was hot. It was fun. It was as shallow a puddle on the sidewalk.
Not that Carie could picture Vasily as the Ken to her Barbie. After all, she had to admit that the only thing that drew her to her reclusive, brooding, iron-faced neighbour in the first place was his sexual physicality. The guy was cut from a mountain rock face by a sculptor to the gods for Christ sake. His blue eyes and sharp facial features were icing on the beefcake. He knew he was hot but never made a big deal about it… which made him even hotter.
Beyond that, Vasily had a personality that matched hers like a rusty chain matched pearls.
No, he would never be boyfriend material for her. She just never envisioned she would ever have a fuck buddy, particularly a brooding Belarusian fuck buddy.
Yet, she couldn’t help it. Especially when every time they clashed, and each time she gnawed on Vasily’s nerves, it just seemed to ratchet up the sexy vibes. Then they’d end up christening the bed, or the sofa, or the floor, the kitchen counter, the balcony… the coffee table, the bathroom vanity, or ottoman by humping and grinding, moaning and groaning, and generally making a big, sweaty mess of themselves.
If only she could stop annoying Vasily, maybe they could move on. Then again, she was so damn good at it… and it was a hell of a lot of fun. It made fucking him like the big boom after a foreplay of firecrackers. So as she was filling out the contest ballot with his name on it, just the thought of how much it would bother him sent a pang of anticipation through her gut. Now that he had actually won, though… oh boy. Every day was like the day before Christmas.
Each day she’d pop her head out of her apartment door whenever she heard him about to leave. She would ask, “Going to the sex store?”
“No,” he’d reply.
“What are you gonna get at the sex store?”
“I am not going.”
“Can you get me something from the sex store?”
“What are you gonna get me from the sex store?”
By that point he was halfway down the hall.
“Let me know if you need me to Google directions to the sex store!”
She finally just left a large, yellow post-it note on his door, scribbled with a shopping list of items she had found through the store’s online catalogue.
After a week of nothing, she was wondering if he was going to bother to go the store at all. Then yet another week went by. She was just beginning to plot how to izmit escort break into his apartment to liberate the gift card when her phone rang.
“Hello?” she said.
“I cannot find Squirrel Tail Tickler.”
“Vasily?” She sat up on her sofa and frowned. “What?”
“Squirrel Tail Tickler. This store does not have it,” he said, sounding flat like a pancake.
Carie grinned crookedly. “Are you… there?”
Dead silence from the other end.
“Ooh! You’re really at the store, aren’t you?”
She heard the sigh of simmering frustration.
“It is a very peculiar place,” he remarked.
Carie covered her mouth and stifled a laugh. “You know,” she said, “you could have just gone online to order the things.”
There was some indiscernible mumbling in Russian.
She threw herself back against the sofa, kicking her sock covered feet in the air with glee. “Vasily! All you ever do is shop online!” she laughed.
After listening to more grumbling, Carie settled down. “Oh, but it’s probably good to actually physically see the stuff. Hands on approach and all that,” she said only half-jokingly. She pictured him gripping something long, wobbly, and gelatinous in his big hands. “Maybe you could ask them for some demonstrations.”
“I will not ask for demonstration.”
“Fine.” Carie teased her fingers down the length of her hair as she talked. “So, um… did you bring my list?”
“Yes. I brought your list,” he said.
She smiled and sat upright, delighted. “Great! By the way, you don’t have to get everything on there. I was just goofing sometimes. Maybe just start with the lingerie.”
“You were wrong,” Vasily said, digressing.
Her eyes narrowed. “I was wrong about what?”
“The store has things that can be eaten.”
Carie closed her eyes and shook her head. “What could they possibly have that you would want to eat?”
“Panties?” she asked.
“Panties and bras and men’s jock straps,” he remarked. “Cherry flavour, strawberry flavour, banana…”
Carie held up her hand. “Vasily, stop. Don’t waste your time on that stuff. I have sheets and rolls of dehydrated fruit in my kitchen. I can make you those things myself if you want.”
“Beef jerky thong…”
She nearly gagged. Composing herself, she smirked and said, “Vasily… that’s not the type of beef I would want stuffed up my crack, would you?”
There was a pregnant pause. “Yes… no.”
“Good boy,” she breathed, crisis averted. “Now, are you in the lingerie section?”
“Okay, so nothing light yellow. It melts into my complexion. You know. Asian,” she said. “Oh, and no leather. They have some cute teddy’s there. Look for sizes…”
“I know size,” Vasily interrupted.
Carie paused, puckering her lips and squinting. “I mean my size, not your mother’s.”
“I know your size,” he insisted, “I use three measurements.”
“‘Three measurements’?” she repeated, suspicious.
“Da. My hands, my tongue, and my cock,” he said. “I know every inch of your little body…intimately.”
She rolled her eyes, picturing the oak-sized brute wearing a smug grin. Admittedly though, the man spoke truth. The way he deliberately slathered his accent around the end of his sentence: “your lee-tul boh-dy… een-ta-muht-ly”, was stupidly sexy, too. And his heavy pronunciation of “cock” always made her a little tingly.
“Well, I don’t want anything too sheer. Maybe something like a cross halter,” she said. “You know this would have been easier if I had just come with you…”
After a moment, she realized she couldn’t hear anything from the other end of the line, not so much as a grunt or grumble in response.
“Vasily? You there?”
“Vasily? Did you hang up on me?”
She redialed but there was no answer. She held out her phone and glared at it. “What the hell?”
Oh crap. He was going to buy the edible underwear.
Carie anxiously waited all afternoon and evening in her apartment excited to see what Vasily would bring home with him. Each time she heard the sound of someone in the hallway, she’d take a peek through the peephole to see if he had arrived yet, to no avail.
By 2:00 a.m., the weight of frustration, a six hour binge of Netflix shows, and a half bottle of Chardonnay finally pulled her down into restless slumber land on her living room rug. Visions of her sitting naked in front of Vasily, chewing off his fruit-flavoured underwear with her teeth, racked her dreams.
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Carie flopped over onto her back and groaned, smacking her lips. She was still on the floor. As she slowly opened one eye at a time, she noticed it was very warm in the apartment, a hazy, golden glow breaching the window blinds.
It took her a moment to realize that it was the sound of rapping on her door that had roused her from her sleep. It was a heavy, plodding knock.
A heavy, plodding knock? Vasily!
Thump! Thump! Thump!
Carie sprung to her bare feet like a cat and high-stepped to her door. She took kocaeli escort a deep breath before opening it. A wall of Vasily filled her door frame. She smiled.
“You look terrible,” he said, his eyebrows looking like two caterpillars approaching a head-on collision.
Carie blinked, tilting her head aside. She held her smile, but the edge of her lips started to curl inwards. “What?”
He nodded his chin forward. “Hair is a mess and face is puffy,” he said.
She pulled at a lock of her hair and looked at it. “Oh, yeah.”
“Were you still asleep?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she replied as if that was a dumb question, “What time is it?”
He checked his phone. “11:30,” he said, noticeably agitated.
“It’s Sunday,” Carie replied.
“Sunday is day. It is not time,” he said.
Carie sighed. “There is no such thing as a proper time to get up on a Sunday, get it? If there isn’t a pile of bacon, eggs, and pancakes waiting for me, I could stay in bed until doomsday.”
“What about toilet?”
Carie pressed her forehead into her palm and shook her head. Then she froze realizing that they had gotten side-tracked.
“Vasily,” she asked, perking up with anticipation, “is there a reason why you’re knocking at my door today?”
The big man regarded her mutely for a few seconds then reached down for something placed outside beside her door. He held up several black bags decorated with an ornate golden script: “Cindy’s Sinful Secrets”.
Carie clasped her hands against her cheeks, mouth ajar. “Oh wow! So much stuff!”
Vasily nodded curtly. “So I may come in?”
“By all means.” She stepped aside. “Welcome, Santa!”
She followed close behind as Vasily walked into her living room and plunked the bags onto the coffee table. She immediately reached for them but bumped into his thick arm as it came down like a border crossing gate.
“What? What?” she asked, frowning.
He stepped in front of the bags and waved her back with a brusque shoo-ing motion of his fingers.
Carie bristled with annoyance. “What’s the deal, Vasily?”
He reached for one of the bags and handed it to her.
Pausing with her jaw set aside, she eyed him before finally looking in the bag. Her suspicions subsided as she reached in and pulled out something light, soft, and lacy. She blinked, surprised to find herself holding up a very pretty, blue, baby doll negligee.
“You like?” Vasily asked.
“I like,” she answered, her thin brows raised high, realizing it was impossible to hide her impressed expression. She offered a coy smile. “But I think it’s a couple of sizes too small for you.”
A subtle growl infused Vasily’s long sigh.
Carie clutched the negligee against her chest and batted her lashes. “Oh, you mean it’s for me?”
“If it fits,” he said.
She nodded with enthusiasm as she regarded the garment. “I’m pretty sure this will fit.”
Carie hesitated and looked up at him. “Huh?”
“You can keep if it fits,” he replied. “Show me.”
She tilted her chin aside. “You mean now? Here?”
“I mean here. Now.”
She rolled her lips into her mouth as she thought, then sighed, “Fine.” She turned to go.
“Where are you going?” Vasily asked.
Pointing, Carie replied, “Bedroom.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Oh, please, Vasily,” she said dismissively, “I know you’ve seen me naked already, but this girl still has a sense of propriety. I’m not getting changed with you standing there ogling me.”
“I don’t ogle.”
Carie waved him off. She didn’t want to argue. Without another word, she went into the bedroom and closed the door.
It took her only a few seconds to slip out of her robe and put on the negligee. Actually, she didn’t so much have to put it on as much as allow it to fall upon her skin. It seemed to just drift down and surround her body. It really did feel like she was wearing nothing.
She turned to look at herself in the mirror. With a slight smile, she mewed, “Mmm.”
No wonder it felt like she wasn’t wearing anything; it was pretty damn sheer. The veil of fabric revealed more than it hid, it seemed. Her pale-cream skin appeared to be simply tinted by the blue material. The dark circles of her nipples and the tiny, tidy triangle of the crotch of her panties were practically highlighted.
It was also quite short, the lace hem licking just above mid-thigh. She felt a subtle, warm draft kiss at her tush. A few ribbons of fabric wove strategically throughout, criss-crossing along the curves and lines of her body accentuating her slender silhouette.
She pivoted left and right on her heels as she continued to admire the negligee and what it did for her body. It was a very good choice. She paused to stare a hole through the door to the man who was in her living room. She smirked. He knew every inch of her ‘lee-tul boh-dy, een-ta-muht-ly’, indeed.
The longer Carie looked at it, the more giddy and anxious she felt about it. It really was lovely, but she just couldn’t get over how revealing it was. A light blush powdered her cheeks.
“Did you climb out window?” Vasily called from outside.
Carie giggled and shook her head. She brushed her long hair with her fingers then walked to the door and knocked on it. “You ready?” she teased.