It’s creeping up on 12 a.m., but we’re too into our game to go to sleep yet. My roommate Ethan and I both work in the morning, but our nightly ritual of XBox 360 and bud was hard to break. We only smoke at night. After a day’s work, there’s nothing like winding down with a bowl and some Call Of Duty. He was ahead by one kill, I was catching up quick with limited time. “God damn it!” “I told you not to go with that gun,” he says with conviction. I mock his comment with a sour face. Smug bastard. “We are on the same team you know,” I say, watching the screen as I kill another guy. “I know. I still have to be better than you though.” “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be this good.” We laugh at the irony and I kill another enemy. “Boom! How do you like that?” He tosses his controller on the coffee table and sighs. “Won by one, the first time in..when?” “Hey, no sore losers in the basement,” I reply with a smile. I pick up the pipe and light what’s left of the green. Holding in my hit I pass it to him. “What time you work tomorrow?” I ask him as he hits the piece. He exhales and replies, “Ten.” I nod and relax into the leather couch. I always go in at 8:30. I prefer to work mornings and have the afternoons to myself. I go out a lot with my friend Aaliyah now that we’re both single. Ethan has random shifts all the time. He’s a technician manager at a factory. Noticing the silence, I look to my right and find Ethan staring at me. I look at him for a moment and raise my eyebrows. He smiles a half smile and looks away. Shrugging off the awkward feeling, I sit forward. “I have cotton mouth, you want a water?” I ask looking back at him. “Yeah thanks,” he nods and takes another hit. I make my way to the stairs to head up to the kitchen. Before I can take the first step up, I’m pushed against the wall on my left. Ethan’s hands are around my wrists and pinned to my sides. I gasp loudly with my cheek against the wall when he puts his lips to my neck. He bites so softly and grinds his pelvis into my ass. Mouth hanging open, words caught in my throat, I can’t find muscles to move. He takes another bite into my shoulder and I sigh a moan of confusion. Before I can respond further, Ethan releases me and I’m forced to use my legs before I fall to the floor. I look back at him, slouched and panting slightly a couple yards away from me. “I’m… so sorry,” he whispers shaking his head. “What the fuck was that?” I ask bewildered. He doesn’t respond, just stares at the floor. Beyond stunned, I turn around and head to my room. What the hell was that? I lock şişli escort my door behind me and cross the room to my bed. Ethan and I have been friends for almost five years, and nothing like this has ever happened between us. All the late night smoking, playing video games and living together on and off for the last few years, I’ve never had feelings for him. He’s certainly never expressed anything to me. Why now? What changed? I have love for him, fuck, he’s one of the best friends I have. He’s helped me out more than I deserve. And now all I can think about are his hands locked around my wrists. His tall height pushing me against the wall… his breath on my neck. Holy shit, what is happening? *** It’s been a few days since I’ve seen Ethan for more than a few minutes. When Friday rolls around, I meet up with Aaliyah to escape my house again. We pull into the parking lot beside a lounge and climb out onto our heels. Tall dark and beautiful is my Aaliyah. Part Indian, she’s got the complexion of caramel and curves for days. I think she’s far more beautiful than myself, but she always disagrees. My long dark hair touches my lower back and I’m thinner than her. I think my green eyes are too big, but I really can’t complain. I’m in good shape, the perks of no relationship; taking care of myself. We find our group easily and take seats on the low rounded couches. An hour later it’s Aaliyah, Chandler, Stephanie and her husband Louis, Daniel, Taniyah and me drinking cocktails and sharing stories of the work week. I about died of laughter when Taniyah admitted her pants ripped in the crotch before a meeting with a client, and the safety pin she rigged wanted to slice her fun parts. “I’ve never been preoccupied with the safety of my vagina so publicly before,” she says and receives a ripple of laughter “Is that who I think it is?” Aaliyah leans to me, whispering. My eyes follow her gaze and I stop. Kyle was a guy I used to date, whom I hadn’t talked to in roughly two years and hadn’t seen in three. Things hadn’t necessarily ended badly between us. He moved away for a job in New Mexico, so we broke it off. Only after he left, he never replied to my messages and completely ignored me. I was hurt, but later he confessed he’d gotten into some shit and was ashamed to admit it. I’m no stranger to making mistakes. Still, seeing him standing there staring at me makes me sort of smile. “I’ll be right back,” I say to Aaliyah and get to my feet. He sees me move and walks toward me. “Chanel.” My name rolls off his tongue and I smile. “Kyle. mecidiyeköy escort What are you doing here?” We automatically hug. “Came to visit my mom and some friends. I didn’t know you still lived here.” He gives me a once over as I speak. “Yeah, still here. Working for an art gallery, going on two years now.” “No shit, good for you. You look amazing. Your hair is so long.” “Thank you. You look well yourself. Doing better then?” He knew what I was referring to. The shit he got into unfortunately happened to be cocaine..a lot of cocaine. But he genuinely looks good. He immediately nods his head. “Very much. I feel great, been working out, went back to school.” I was surprised to hear the news and asked him how things were going. We chatted a while about recent events in our lives and he invited me to his table. I motioned to the people I came with and refused, I didn’t want to be rude. But damn, he was looking good. He told me he wanted to sit with me and went to talk to his friends, who were all smiling at me. I think I recognized one of them. “If you’re only here for a little while, you should stay with your friends,” I say when he returns. He still spins me and we walk to my table. “Don’t worry about it. Jake and I have shit planned all week, he’ll live. Besides, you’re my friend, too. I’d like to spend some time with you.” His words sound like they have a double meaning as he stares at me intently. I fight a smile and introduced him to my friends he hasn’t met. Kyle knows Daniel and Aaliyah already, fitting easily into conversation. Kyle’s sitting close to my side, our thighs touching, and a while later, his hand finds my knee as he casually continues talking with Daniel. I look over, eyeing him, his light brown hair, carefree smile, broad shoulders and suddenly my insides are hot. Within the same moment, Ethan slips into my mind and I freeze. Fuck. Fuck that. I’d like to say it was easy for me to forget earlier this week, but Ethan’s hot hands left lasting impressions on my wrists. I found myself constantly, absentmindedly, wrapping my fingers around them, and I’d sigh every time. I focus on Kyle again and decide what I’m going to do tonight; get my mind off of Ethan. I lean forward to whisper in his ear, “Let’s go to my house.” He looks right in my eyes and sees the invitation. “Let’s do it,” he says, smiling. “Hey, we’re gonna go,” I lean over and tell Aaliyah. “Have fun,” she winks at me and I roll my eyes. All of her ‘you need to get some’ talks coming back to me. “You don’t need a ride, do you?” I ask her as Kyle and I stand. “No, Dylan just messaged me. I think he wants to hang out tonight,” she says, smiling with obvious delight. I grin back. I like Dylan, her new squeeze. Kyle and I say our goodbyes and walk outside. It feels good not leaving alone, being with an old friend. “I drove here, should I follow you?” He asks pulling out a pack of smokes to offer me one. I refuse the tobacco. “I still don’t smoke, but thanks. And yeah, I don’t live too far.” I start walking toward my car, and he’s not parked more than a few spaces away. I look over my shoulder at him, knowing he’s watching my ass in this tight dress. He smiles and lights a cig, walking to his car. We play cat and mouse through the streets to my place. It’s midnight and there’s hardly anyone on the road. When we pull up to my house I don’t see any lights on. Good. I unlock the door quietly and we step into the house. I’m pulling his hand as we head for the stairs down to my room, and as I round the corner, I see the light from the basement TV. I hold back a sigh and briefly shut my eyes. I was hoping to avoid him tonight. Half way down the stairs I smell the tree. “Is that bud?” Kyle whispers behind me. Ethan looks up from the chair and pauses his video game. “Hey, Chanel,” Ethan says, casual as ever, though this already feels awkward. “What’s up?” I ask, crossing the room, Kyle’s hand still in mine. “This is Kyle. Kyle, this is Ethan, my roommate.” They shake hands and share pleasant greetings. “You guys wanna smoke?” Ah Ethan, always so generous. I’m trying to get laid… but I could use a puff. My own stash has been sitting for a couple days. I look to Kyle for his input. “I’m down.” He shrugs looking back and forth at both of us. “Let’s do it,” I agree, though I can’t tell if he’s being polite, or genuinely wants to smoke. Perhaps since he knows he’s going to get laid, getting high first can’t hurt. We make a loop to the couch and I’m sitting between both of them; Kyle on my left, Ethan in the chair to my right. Ethan hands the glass to me and I rip it hard. “I didn’t know you smoked,” Kyle comments as I pass it to him. “Every now and then. Mostly with Ethan,” I admit. “I know, I’m a bad influence,” Ethan says facetiously. We sit and smoke, talking about the game on screen, and where we had just been. I take my jacket off, still wearing my small strapless black dress and tall stilettos. We need a fucking fridge down here. “I’m thirsty. Anyone want anything?” I ask, looking to both of them. “Water, milk, juice… Crown Royal?” I offer to Kyle. He smiles. “Let’s take a shot.” “You joining?” I ask Ethan. I don’t want to be rude, but maybe I should have just ignored him. All of us stoned and tipsy, my imagination is gaining racy momentum.