One week before the wedding
It’s almost here, the wedding I mean to say its almost here. Just last night I had fun and I realized that maybe I don’t love Rachel. That maybe I love Natasha, maybe I always had I just never realized it before. Could that be it could I actually be in love with Natasha. No it’s all nonsense I couldn’t possibly be in love with Natasha, the only reason that I would believe that is because she has been here during my heartbreak. I have no clue as to what I’m going to do, I don’t even know if I want to find out my true feelings.
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I was lying in bed thinking about my problems when my doorbell rang and sadly I had to get up and put a robe on. I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face as I thought of something and decided to do what I had just thought. I walked to the front door and opened the door naked as the day I was born. At first I had a smile but once I saw whom it was I really wished I had put on a robe on.
“Do you meet all your guests like this Laura?” Rachel said as she came into my house, no correction, as she barged into my house.
“What are you doing here Rachel?” I asked as I headed towards my room and shut the door so I could change while Rachel was still in my living room. I didn’t know what to change into, maybe some sexy pajamas or something casual. Why was I thinking this I don’t care how she sees me right? I decided to put on some gym shorts and a tee shirt.
“So why are you here Rachel?”
“What can’t I just visit my maid of honor?”
“Okay what do you want your maid of honor for?” I asked as I went to the kitchen and made myself some coffee.
“Maybe I want to just talk or have a day with you is that so wrong Laura?”
“No it isn’t but I do have plans for this afternoon so if you want to talk I’m only available till around noon.” It was harsh I admit Ankara Rus Escort but I wasn’t lying my friend had invited me to his daughter’s sweet sixteen and I was planning on going.
“Wait don’t tell me you have plans with Natasha. Where is she anyways, didn’t she spend the night here?” Rachel asked me as she got all up in my face, which was really cute to me because I have always enjoyed her freckles. Which is why I couldn’t help smiling at here, which only caused her to get madder and redder.
“This isn’t a joke Laura, why are you hurting me like this?”
The instant she asked me this I could feel my smile going away leaving me with a serious and cold face. “I am not hurting you Rachel, unlike you who is constantly playing with my feelings, you who love me one second and the next you’re in Ron’s arms, so don’t tell me I’m the one hurting you cause you have been constantly hurting me over and over again and I have kept my mouth shut even though at times when it’s too hurtful I say something. However if you want to point fingers point them on yourself because I’m not the one hurting anyone.” I said as I got all up in her face, which caused us to be touching noses. I pulled away before I did something that I would later regret. I moved away from her to lean against my counter so that I wouldn’t be too close to her.
“So that’s it you can’t even kiss me now? Is Natasha that good of a kisser?” Rachel asked me as she looked at me with anger in her eyes causing me to wish I had never opened the door in the first place.
“Rachel can you take a chill pill or something, Natasha has nothing to do with this but you want to know what does?” I asked her as I finished my coffee and served myself another cup.
“Yes Laura I want to know.” Rachel said.
“You are about to get married in one week, and you’re here trying to get me to kiss you, how messed Yenimahalle Escort up can you be?”
“You want to know how messed up I really am Laura?”
“No not really.” I said afraid of the answer she would give me.
“To bad cause I’m giving you an answer! I’m so messed up that at night when I’m sleeping with Ron I can’t help thinking about you, when I’m fucking him I wish it was you I was fucking! Also now that the wedding is so close I really wish I hadn’t accepted because I miss you! I miss you so much that I can’t even go on one day without thinking of you. I’m so messed up that seeing you with Natasha last night really hurt me and now I’m here pouring out my heart and all you are doing is looking at me like I’m crazy!” Rachel screamed at me, as she once again got too close to me.
I didn’t know what to say or think. Rachel was basically telling me she still loved me. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or unhappy. I was finally moving on and now she comes up with this, with her regrets and feelings. How was I supposed to deal with this?
“Rachel I….”
“Please don’t tell me it’s too late Laura please I’m begging you. I saw you and Natasha last night, are y’all really a couple Laura? Were you able to trade me that quickly?” Rachel asked me as she put her hands on my arms and looked up into my eyes.
“No I’m not with Natasha and I didn’t sleep with her either, but yes I do want to move on and right now it seems Natasha is the only one who can help me move on.” I said as I moved away to sit on the couch.
“So you’re basically breaking up with me Laura?”
I couldn’t help laugh at this, “Rachel you broke up with me the day you told me you were going to marry Ron.”
“But I’m telling you now that I love you and I miss you.” Rachel said as she got on her knees before me.
“I miss you and love you too Rachel but that doesn’t change the fact that you are marrying Ron in one week.” I said.
“But we can be together, like behind his back.” Rachel said as she cupped my hands in hers.
“No we can’t, I will not do that to him Rachel, yes he stole you from me but I will not, not behind his back will I fuck his wife.” I said as I pulled my hands away and went to get myself another cup of coffee. What was Rachel thinking; she was already making plans to cheat on her husband, what was wrong with her? If she really wanted me she would leave him, cancel the wedding; wouldn’t someone do that if they really loved someone?
“So that’s it you aren’t even going to try and be with me Laura?”
“No I won’t be with you, not while your married.” I said my heart was breaking again and at that moment I realized I hadn’t moved too fast. I was really in love with Rachel and the fact that she still wouldn’t be with me broke my motivation and heart. All I wanted to do was be with her again even for a few seconds but how could I be so foolish, I couldn’t afford it no matter how much I wanted it at least that’s what I had thought.
Rachel walked towards me and took my coffee from my hands and laid it down on the kitchen table. I didn’t really know what she was doing until she reached for my hands and put them on her waist as she put hers on my face. Rachel leaned into me and kissed me, this kiss however wasn’t the passionate and hard kisses she usually gave me, no this time it was gentle and sweet and at the same time it felt like it was a goodbye kiss. I closed my eyes and kissed her back holding her at least for this second, I couldn’t let her go not yet I thought to myself.
Rachel finally pulled away and moved to get her purse, it wasn’t until she turned around that I saw her tears, which really caused my heart to break even more. I was waiting for her to say something but ones she said the next words I wish I had never thought that.
“Laura the wedding is still on, but this time I don’t want you there, I don’t want you to be my maid of honor, I don’t want you anywhere near my wedding. I hope you can forgive me in the future but for now its goodbye. Rachel said as she walked out my door for the last time, or so I thought.