Sandra stood on the dock extending out over Lake Alexander watching the sunrise though the morning fog. Her crutches rested gently under each arm, a short tee shirt covered her upper body to just below her otherwise bare breasts, and a small thong of a bikini bottom hid little, and the legless left hip was smoothly shaped as she had always dreamed it should be. The prior months had given it time to lose the swelling following the surgery, now it was slightly smaller than the other hip. She glanced down past the patch of black fabric covering her mound towards the single barefoot. She was now at peace with herself.
“Great morning, isn’t it?” Kate softly said as if not wanting to disturb Sandra’s apparent trance.
Sandra twisted on her foot and looked at Kate missing all of one arm and wearing a prosthetic arm ending with a hook on the other side. Her sleeveless blouse dangled open in the front exposing the left breast and some of the right, her long legs extended from the very short legs of the short pants, both feet were bare.
“I was just thinking how close to heaven this place is,” Sandra whispered, still a bit lost in the fog.
“Yes. It is nice that you were able to get one of the new cabins. Of course, the fact that your mother funded the building of them helped that.” Kate laughed as she sat on the edge of the dock letting her toes dangle in the water.
Sandra laid her crutches on the dock as she sat. “Actually, I owe everything to you and Olivia. Where is she?”
Olivia was Sandra’s cousin related to her mother. Near the end of graduate school, she had met them near the coast for the first visit in many years. It was then that Sandra learned of Olivia and Kate’s interest to be amputees.
“Megan came over to clean up the cabin, things were a little out of control.” She giggled then awkwardly lay first on one side and rolled onto her back. The blouse fell along her side leaving both breasts uncovered. The plastic socket of her prosthetic arm rested under her head and her feet tapped on the edge of the dock. Both women were quiet for a moment with only the occasional sound of a fish jumping out of the water breaking the silence.
“Have you heard from Julia?” Kate asked moving the prosthetic arm over her eyes to shade them from the sun breaking from the fog. “She visited us. Damn, I wish I could use my feet to do things like her.”
“She’s taking the summer off from the university.” Sandra rolled onto her side and propped her head on an upturned hand for a few minutes then sat up facing Kate. She reached over and touched the shiny silver hook. Kate bent the elbow moving the hook towards Sandra. With a shrug of the shoulder, the hook opened and Sandra slipped her fingers inside. “She’s going to spend the summer here.”
Julia had been Sandra’s PhD advisor and missing the right arm above the elbow after three successive amputations, the first two below the elbow. Like Kate, she often wore a prosthetic arm with a hook. Most of her life, since a childhood baby sitter born without arms helped her learn how to do so, she had used her hands rarely, instead using her feet to do things.
“Fantastic. I wonder if she will have her other arm off.”
“For this past term, she hasn’t used her hand, just her feet. I suspect the reason she’s coming is to have the arm off.” As Sandra talked, her fingers fondled the hook. “She didn’t say how much. Maybe just the hand or part of the forearm I suspect.”
Kate let the hook open and close gently on Sandra’s fingers. “You like my hook, don’t you?”
Sandra nodded. “Yeah.” She held the hook and wiggled it. “It makes me think of her.”
“I doubt she will get one for the new stump.”
“Me either. She’s so into using her feet.” She paused. “I spent a recent weekend with Connie. She walks well on a single crutch.”
Connie had been one of the first elective amputees in the area and lived on the coast. Missing an arm and a leg, she walked with a single crutch. As a child, she had the same baby sitter as Julia and learned how to do everything with her feet, and now used her remaining foot to do most things.
“I know. I’m envious, but for now, I’m enjoying being this way. I waited all my life so there isn’t a big rush to do more.” She pulled the hook to her lips and kissed it. “She and Julia are so lucky to be able use their feet, or foot in Connie’s case.” She giggled.
Olivia sat in her powered wheelchair on the porch of the cabin. The left leg crossed over the right, each below knee stump swung slightly. The left forearm stump brushed at her long graying hair pushing an errant few strands out of her eyes. Olivia had worn prosthetic legs and an arm, but now due age and failing health, she found it was becoming difficult to use them.
Megan had just left after cleaning and doing laundry. Olivia watched the lovely young woman walk along the asphalt path, her hips swaying inside the tight shorts without a hint of panties. She loved to look at the youthful firm body so much she had her clean three days each week rather than just two.
Kate walked onto the porch ardahan seks hikayeleri and noticed what Olivia was watching. “You’re lusting,” she teased. “And she isn’t even missing anything.” She laughed and sat on the metal patio chair with a thick cushion. Her hook clanked against the chair arm.
“Yeah, but she does talk about losing the right leg.”
“Sandra said that Julia is coming to visit. Probably is going to get rid of part of the other arm.”
“Good for her.” Olivia continued to watch Megan as she uncrossed her legs, letting both stumps dangle over the edge of the cushion of the wheelchair. “When?”
“I guess when classes are over. She’s not been using her hand this term so Sandra said.”
At last, Megan was out of sight. Olivia pushed the joystick to the side rotating the wheelchair so she faced Kate.
“You are so lovely,” Olivia whispered again brushing the same piece of hair out of her face with her forearm stump.
“I couldn’t compete with Megan if she lost her leg.”
“Darling, you don’t have to worry.” She paused for a moment. “Besides, I love taking care of you … doing everything for you. It’s getting harder, I fear.”
“We do well taking care of each other. Perhaps we can talk the fare madden Megan into taking care of both of us.”
Now late in the day, Julia and Sandra were walking from the hospital back into the parking lot. Sandra’s left forearm ended midway between the elbow and wrist and a small bandage covering where the sutures had just been.
“Big change. Are you excited?” Sandra asked, as she looked over at the new stump in contrast to the way the other arm ended above the elbow. “I’ll never forget when I walked out of those doors afterwards.”
“Not so bad. I haven’t really used the hand for months. It was becoming an annoyance actually.” Julia flexed the elbow moving the stump around. “I might get a hook for this side even though I only use my feet now.”
“We should drive down to visit Connie.”
“I’d like to do that now that most of the bandages are gone.” She held the bandaged stump up towards Sandra. “I first did the other just above the wrist. The third time it was up to here.” She swung the right arm stump ending midway between the elbow and shoulder forward.
“Do you think you’ll ever have the left one off above the elbow?”
Julia slipped her left foot from the sandal and pulled the driver’s door open then settled in the seat before closing it.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” Sandra asked as she opened the passenger door. She shoved her crutches behind the seat and with a small hop, sat in the seat.
Julia held the keys with her toes and twisted them in the ignition. The engine started. “I’m feeling okay. I’ve been driving with my feet forever. I can’t thank you enough for helping me these first few days.” She pulled the shift leaver down with her right foot and glanced towards Sandra then smiled. “You’ve always been such a good friend.”
The trees passed as Julia held the knob on the steering wheel with her left foot, the right rested on the accelerator. The mid-thigh length skirt rode high on the thigh. Her lips teased the still fresh scar on the end of her left forearm with the stitches recently out. Not having either arm had long been her dream, now it was for real. For the past year, she had gradually stopped using that hand as well as the hook she often wore on the other arm. For the past several months, she would leave both arms tucked inside a sweater or blouse letting the sleeves dangle free along her side.
She took the right foot from the accelerator for a moment and turned up the volume on the radio with those toes. “Not enough feet,” she teased as she placed the foot down again and the car picked up speed again.
“I’ve got two hands,” Sandra said as she squirmed in the seat to get comfortable. The short tan cotton skirt moved upwards along her long slim tan leg with each movement of the hips. She reached down and massaged the left hip where her thigh used to be. A patch of black thong covered her mound. She glanced from her stump up towards Julia’s face and noticed her staring back at her. “What?” she asked continuing to massage what was becoming one of most favorite body parts, second only to the thing under the thong.
“You like thongs, don’t you?”
“Not really. Other types of panties won’t stay in place.” Sandra giggled. “To some degree, the others ride up over my hip or the leg hole is too big and leaves me exposed.”
“I like you exposed.” Julia laughed. “So, is that stump what you wanted?”
“Oh my, yeah … and then some.”
“I just feel so much more sexy. Is that weird?”
“Hardly.” Julia moved her foot turning the wheel and steered the car into a parking place. “I need to use the bathroom and get something to eat.”
“I’ll come with you. I need the same things.”
Anyone missing a single limb knows how much curious attention they attract, but a woman without arms alongside a woman with only one leg will make heads turn quickly enough that it is odd that none of the heads land on the floor.
“Mind coming into the stall with me,” Julia whispered as she passed by Sandra holding the women’s bathroom door open. “I just need to pee.” She giggled and pecked at Sandra’s cheek. Together they stood in the stall and latched the door.
A woman waiting in line puzzled over the three feet and crutch tips visible below the walls of the stall. She shook her head as Julia and Sandra emerged.
“She’s just so helpless these days,” Sandra teased.
“At least she doesn’t need to wash her hands.” The woman giggled and disappeared into the stall.
Julia sat at a table, both feet resting on the table holding her cheeseburger while she chewed another bite. The girl and woman at a nearby table watched with equal interest as Julia lifted the burger to her mouth once again. They spoke quietly, still watching. Julia could hear a few words; mostly sounding like the woman was explaining something to the girl. The woman held a finger to her mouth and they sat back up. The woman continued to watch even though the girl now ignored Julia.
The woman piled the few remains of her food on the tray and the girl took it to the trash. The woman walked towards the table where Julia and Sandra sat, her hands nervously brushing at her jeans.
“I’m sorry that I was staring. You manage quite well.”
Julia looked up at the attractive woman who appeared to be in her late twenties. “I’m used to the stares, but thanks.” She picked up the cup with both feet and sucked the straw. “If you’d like to chat about it, have a seat.” She put the cup back down and lowered the left foot to her sandal on the floor leaving the right one resting on the table.
“I’m going out in the playground,” the girl quickly said and ran towards the door.
“She’ll entertain herself for a while. Yeah, I’d like that, if you don’t mind.” Julia slid closer to the wall and the woman sat next to her. “I’m Emily.”
Julia held her foot over and Emily shook it as though it was a hand then Julia introduced herself and Sandra.
“I just had my hand amputated a few weeks ago.” She held her new forearm stump up.
“Really? You do things so well, I’d just assumed it had been since you were a child.”
“Well, actually I started using my feet as a child, but my arms were amputated much later.”
“It sounds crazy … and I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I would love to have one arm off.” She pointed to her upper arm. “I’ve heard that I’m not alone with my feelings.”
“How would your family handle that?”
“Oh,” she said as she realized they assumed the girl was her hers. “Ginny belongs to my neighbor, Carla. I’m single as the day is long.” She giggled. “Carla and I mess around some, you know, when Ginny and her dad are not at home. It helps to take the tension off the soul.” She laughed. “Ginny and her mother know about me wanting my arm off. No one else does. I go around the house without my right arm … a lot. She was excited to see you. You know, ‘Emily, she’s like you want to be’.”
“What makes you think I wouldn’t mind hearing this?” Julia turned more towards Emily and held her forearm stump to her lips, licking at the still dark red marks where the stitches had been. She let the forearm stump fall along the table and smiled a friendly smile.
“I don’t know. Do you mind?”
“Nah. I was just teasing. It seems like there are more and more people coming out about their feelings these days. I teach at a university in San Francisco and I have several people a month ask me the same kind of questions, more often about a leg than an arm. I don’t know how many would actually do something.”
Sandra picked up the conversation. “I live at Lake Alexander near Union Springs and there are about seventy-five amputees living at the lake or in town, all having chosen to be that way.”
“Oh my god. I’ve heard about the place. I thought it was just an urban myth.”
Julia shook her head and held both stumps up towards Emily.
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?” Emily’s mouth dangled slightly open looking at the two stumps then looked at Sandra. “How about you?” Sandra nodded. Her hand covered her mouth. “Oh my god. Is this something I can have done? I’ve been saving my money for years, ever since I found I wasn’t alone with my desires.” Emily became quiet and lost in deep thought.
Julia flexed her elbow letting the forearm stump move a few inches. “I feel like a pied piper with a parade of people wanting a stump following behind me.”
Emily handed Sandra a business card. “I want to talk more about this. Like I said I am so-o ready to have it off … this afternoon if I could.”
Sandra picked the card up and looked at it. “Emily Sorenson.” She looked up at the woman then back at the card. “Accountant.” She put the card in her purse. “We’re driving to the coast for a few days. A friend has a house right on the water. She’s missing a leg and an arm.”
“Oh, I wish I knew others. I feel so-o alone with my feelings.” Emily rubbed her chin. “Can you visit on your way back? I want to know more about how to arrange an amputation.” She sat up straighter. “I don’t know if I can wait now that I know it might be possible.”
“It might be good to think about this for a while, knowing it can happen.”
Sandra wrote on a piece of paper. “Call this number tomorrow and make an appointment with Dr. Anderson. I’ll call him today and let him know. If someone like us calls, he doesn’t usually ask any questions about if you really want this done. He can often schedule things for a few days later. How long you are in the hospital depends on the person and the kind of amputation.” She pushed the paper towards Emily. “The second number is my cell phone. Call me if you need to talk … about anything.”
“Don’t wake me from this dream.” Emily picked the paper up with the left hand and stared at the phone number. “Maybe by the end of this week my arm will be gone.” She pushed the right arm behind her. “How long does it take, ah, before it is as healed as that stump?” She pointed the paper towards Julia’s new stump.
“Nine days. The stitches came out this morning. The redness will fade quickly.” She held the other stump forward. “This is several years old. I had it amputated three times, twice below the elbow and then like this.” She lowered the stump. “Give him a call tomorrow. He’s a great person and understands people like us.”
Ginny carried Sandra and Emily’s tray to the trash then the four walked to Julia’s car parked in the handicapped-parking place. Julia’s foot pushed the key into the lock then opened the car door. She then sat in the seat and pushed the key into the ignition.
Emily put her left arm around Ginny and pulled her close, pushed the door closed and waved. “Thanks!” They stood with arms around each other and watched the car move though the parking lot.
“That was very nice,” Sandra said as Julia turned right towards the highway. She held her phone to her ear and spoke with Dr. Anderson explaining all about their conversation with Emily. She folded the phone and held it for a moment. With Emily’s card in the other hand, she dialed the number.
“Hey. It’s Sandra. … Yeah it was fun to talk. Listen, I got in touch with the doctor faster than expected. He’s expecting your call. Sounds like things can move as fast as you want. … Yes, that is good news. … Yeah, you should call now. Keep me in the loop.”
The phone slapped closed and Sandra shoved it into her purse. “He said he could see her today and do the surgery tomorrow if she wants.”
“Maybe by the time we drive back though here, it will be done.”
“Do you think she really will do this?” Sandra reached over and turned on the radio then pushed the CD player button.
For the next hour, they said little as they both enjoyed the scenery along the rural road heading towards the coast. Stands of pine trees for paper mills mixed with farms and pastures lined both sides of the road. Logging trucks entered and left the road, but there were few other vehicles.
The cell phone rang. “Hello? … Ah, Emily. What’s happening? … This afternoon? … Tomorrow? Wow! That’s quick. Are you excited?” Her thumb pushed against the top of the phone and it closed.
“Tomorrow?” Julia said.
“Yup. Emily told the neighbor too.”
“Whatever.” Julia’s foot holding the knob on the steering wheel moved slightly as they drove though a series of slight curves.
Connie wore only a dark blue thong swimsuit bottom. She rested her left foot on the railing as she leaned back in the patio chair. The afternoon sun was nearly gone and the beach less crowded. The incoming tide roared against the sand, the waves over a foot high. She watched the white surf roll in. The foot moved to one side and she hooked her toes through the handle of the cup and lifted it to her lips. The whiskey rolled slowly along her tongue, savoring the brown liquid in small sips.
The forearm stump of her left arm brushed at her hair as she sat the cup still hanging from her toes back down. A single crutch leaned against the wall. Her right leg originally amputated just above the knee so she could use a prosthetic leg, now the stump ended close to the hip. The left leg bent at the knee and the foot stroked the short stump.
She had begun to use her feet after her Aunt Grace babysat her at an early age, the same woman that had started Julia on her journey of using her feet. Years ago Connie had the left hand amputated with the goal of having the right hand off in the future. After visiting with another woman missing an arm and leg for several months, she had her leg amputated. She quickly became proficient using a single crutch. Because she often used a prosthetic arm with a hook, she had not had more of that arm amputated … yet.
The foot again picked up the cup and she sipped at the whiskey. She rarely used the hand other than to hold the handle of the crutch or to help hold things in place while grabbing them with her foot. Getting rid of the hand was not completely out of the question. She had known others missing both arms and one leg. It was something that she thought about often that excited her. So far, she had managed to resist.