Chapter 18 – Rachel’s fantasy Part 1
Monday afternoon came and Rachel and I both got home around the same time and decided to have dinner together. We really had not talked since we got home from the trip home to visit her mother. That trip was interesting to say the least and I wanted to talk to Rachel about it.
We decided to order pizza and over a glass of wine and a slice of Chicago’s finest pizza I brought up the weekend.
“So did you have a good time this weekend?” I asked.
Rachel looked at me with one eyebrow raised and said, “Yeah it was great.”
I chewed and took a sip of wine not sure how to proceed. Rachel watched me tentatively.
After a moment she said, “Spit it out Aunt Sara I don’t want things to be weird.”
I sighed and said, “Well you took a big risk with Jason. What made you do it?”
Rachel shrugged. “Honestly I am not sure. I guess it was a bunch of stuff starting with Mom talking to me the way she did on Friday. I had no idea what she had been through, and it made me think of her differently.”
I nodded and said, “I understand that.”
“It was like she was talking to me like a person for the first time. I felt like I finally am getting to know her as a woman.”
I nodded again. “I think she is starting to see you that way too, but still there is a big difference between talking about sex with her and fucking Jason in front of her.”
Rachel smiled, “I know and I think that’s one of the reasons I did it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Rachel took another bite and shrugged. Then she continued, “Well I thought about my Mom a lot and how brave it was for her to tell me some of the things she did. I know that wasn’t easy for her. I guess I wanted her to know that I trusted her.”
“You trust her? You have an interesting way of showing trust.” I said.
“Not really,” she replied. “You see I figured if she could trust me to accept the person she used to be sexually, then I should trust her to accept who I am.”
I considered her for a moment and said, “You might be right Rachel, but what if it didn’t turn out the way it did?”
Rachel shrugged, “That’s the trust part Aunt Sara. If I knew how it would turn out then there wouldn’t have been any need to trust her.” She looked at me as if I was retarded. I hated that look.
Her logic was simple and straight forward, but I didn’t know if I would be crazy enough or have the courage to do what she did.
“But was it worth risking your relationship?” I asked.
Rachel looked at me confused. “My mom would still love me even if she freaked out over what I did. I mean its just sex, right? It might take some talking, but we would have been okay. I mean I still love her after hearing what she did. There was never really a question of that.”
I thought about that for a long moment. She was right. It was just sex. Mary would have loved her if she would have gang banged a foot ball team at half time on Monday Night Football.
Maybe the hang up here was mine. I felt as if Rachel’s straight forward and simple view of the world might be better than my complicated, over analyzed view. Still something didn’t feel right with me about it. Was it a ‘me’ thing? Shit was I learning from her now?
Rachel considered me and said, “I think people get so embarrassed about sex stuff that they spend time worrying about what other people might think. I know a girl in school with me who is terrified her mom will find out that she let a guy take a picture of her naked after they had sex. I mean she worries all the time that the guy made copies, or put it on the internet, or someone will see it. You know?”
I thought about the movie of me that Ron and Michelle had made. I thought about how I would feel if there was a copy floating around out that I didn’t know about. I shivered involuntarily at the thought of it being posted to some random website.
I nodded and said, “That would suck so bad.”
Rachel shrugged, “Would it really? I mean so fucking what if someone sees you naked or having an orgasm? Who cares?”
I considered her for a few minutes and thought, ‘Jesus I have created a monster.’
I said, “I might care. It might embarrass me if someone at my work saw it or someone like your mom.”
I thought well maybe not your mother, reliving the incredible orgasm I had in the hot tub with her.
Rachel sighed and said, “I know and that’s my point. I don’t want to be embarrassed by something like that. I mean I think I look okay naked. Maybe not a supermodel, but no one has ever thrown up either. And having sex is the one thing that is a shared experience across humanity. If anything can unite the human race under a common experience its sex. So why is everyone so embarrassed? I understand how some people feel, but I just don’t want to be one of those people.”
I sighed and said, “I can’t fault your logic.”
Rachel grinned, “So I had sex with Jason and you two happened to see us. After that, I think I can say I am probably not going to be embarrassed over something I like as Maltepe Escort much as sex. Besides, my guess is that you both will be a lot more comfortable talking to me about your own experiences after that. I figured it was a bonding moment none of us will ever forget.” She was being a smart ass now.
I grinned and said, “Ya think?”
She laughed and said, “Besides Mom has always had a thing for Jason and I thought it might be a treat for her to finally get to see him naked.”
“And how do you know that?” I asked.
Rachel rolled her eyes, “Please, when he came over our senior year I thought Dad was going to have to turn a hose on her. I saw the way she looked at him when she thought no one was watching her.”
I giggled and said, “He is quite a specimen.”
Rachel grinned and said, “Mmmmmm isn’t he.”
I smiled and said, “Just go slow with Mary. She is pretty cool, but maybe not so enlightened and wordly wise as you.” Now it was my turn to be a smart ass.
Rachel laughed and said, “As long as I can go fast with you and Ron.”
I said tentatively, “So you really want a turn in the game?”
Rachel grinned and said, “Think you should talk to your man about the email I sent him this morning.”
I raised an eyebrow and said, “Really?”
Rachel took another bite of pizza and grinned.
* * * * * * *
“We have to talk.”
I checked my voicemail after arriving to work and that was the only message on it. It was sent from Ron the previous evening at around 11pm. He sounded much more serious than usual for him. There was no ‘Hi honey hope your weekend went well’ or any other pleasantry. There was just a cold ‘We have to talk’ and then the click as he hung up the phone hard.
My stomach tumbled as any woman would understand if she got a voice mail from the man she loved with those horrible four words on her voice mail. ‘We have to talk’ for any gender can be loosely translated into one of four meanings in decreasing order of probability. ‘We have to talk’ means:
A.I met someone else so pack your shit. B.I did something bad and need to confess because the guilt is driving me crazy C.I did something bad with someone else and s/he is making me tell you because s/he feels guilty; followed by: pack your shit.
And the most rare case
D.We really do need to talk.
I punched Ron’s cell phone number into my phone with nervous fingers that required me to redial twice. After two rings Ron answered, but not with his usual happy go lucky demeanor.
“Hey.” He said obviously recognizing my number on caller ID.
“Hey yourself.” I said, trying my best to sound like carefree self and not really pulling it off.
“Get my message?” he asked.
“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked my stomach doing flip flops.
“Rachel is. She sent me a note. Did you see it?” he asked in a serious tone. I must have caught him in the car on the way to work because I heard a lot of traffic noise in the background.
“No, but she mentioned that she sent you a note.” I said feeling a little better knowing this was not about us.
“Well we need to get together and talk about this. Alone.” He said stressing ‘alone’.
“Sure. Is everything okay?” I asked.
A pause followed by a sigh. “I guess, it’s just that this might be getting out of hand and I want to talk this through with you.”
“Your place after work?” I asked.
Another sigh. “Can’t babe. I am on my way to O’hare. I have to catch a flight to Miami and then on to Costa Rica this afternoon to meet with a European client. I am out all week.”
I groaned internally. “Well you can’t leave me hanging for a week.” I said.
“How about you meet me for the weekend?” his voice perked up and I could hear ‘my Ron’ for the first time.
“Where?” I asked.
“How about Costa Rica? I will get us a suite at a beach resort.” He said and I could hear thrill in his voice that was ever present when he came up with a totally spontaneous and outrageous idea.
“Costa Rica?” I said skeptically, but mentally checking my calendar to see if it was possible.
“Yep.” He said happily.
“I don’t know Ron, that is pretty short notice” the practical part of me said.
“Hey you got a passport don’t you?” he said.
“Of course, it just that…” I started.
“Just what? Come on it will be fun.” He said a hint of little boy pleading in his voice. When he was like this I had a hard time denying him anything.
I sighed in surrender and said, “You will make the arrangements?”
He laughed out loud and said, “I will have my secretary email you your travel schedule before the end of the day. Can you take a half day on Friday so you can get there before midnight?”
I sighed but felt tremendously excited. Every girl’s fantasy is to be whisked a way on a moments notice by the man of her dreams to some exotic location, and I was getting to live that fantasy. “I will take the whole day off for you” I said trying to sound as if I had put my whole life on hold to take a vacation with him.
He actually Ümraniye Escort giggled and said, “Cool babe. See you in the Caribbean.” And was about to ring off.
“Hey wait.” I said. “So what is up with this note from Rachel?” I asked.
It was as if he had momentarily forgotten the reason for his call. Serious Ron came back on the line and said, “Yeah we need to talk about that, but it can wait ’till Friday.”
“Really? Because you left me a message on my work phone in the middle of the night about it” I said.
He sighed again. “I may have over reacted. It’s just that when I read it, I was surprised. It’s a pretty intense fantasy, especially for a twenty year old girl that hadn’t really ever done much sexually until this year. I just want to make sure we aren’t making a mistake. I don’t want to hurt her or you. It will keep until Friday. Besides I am almost at the airport and I have to catch this flight. Traffic is a bitch this morning so I really need to go now.”
I wondered if he was putting me off but said, “Okay hun. But how about you forward me the email?”
“I don’t think so. I want to talk in person and get your first impressions. Try not to worry about it. Like I said, I may have over reacted.” He said.
“Damn it Ron.” I said frustrated.
“Hey babe, relax”, that little mischievous boy back in his voice. “I promise to show you the moment we connect in person. Okay?”
I didn’t say anything and eventually he said again “Okay?” a little impatience in his voice.
I sighed giving up and hated myself a little for being such a push over for him. “Okay.” I said, “But you owe me one.”
I could almost hear the smile on his face through the receiver. “Great. See you Friday.” And then he was gone.
I sat at my desk staring at my windows log on screen thinking. The practical part of me was still thinking ‘this is nuts you are not going to Costa Rica on Friday are you?’, but another part of me was already feeling the excitement of the trip building. Deep down I knew I was going and my subconscious brain was already making plans.
I fought the urge all week to ask Rachel about the note she had sent Ron. I was dying to ask her, but she had not included me intentionally. Part of me was a little pissed at her so we played a mind game all week. I was pretending to have no interest in what her fantasy was, and she was pretending there was nothing to talk about.
There was a distinct possibility I was playing this game alone in that Rachel gave no outward indication that anything was amiss.
Damn this game.
* * * * * * *
I almost cancelled the trip. On Tuesday morning I had managed to contract a minor stomach flu and while not debilitating, it did cause me bouts of nausea. Puking never made me feel very sexy, but I was feeling a little better on Friday. So after a piece of dry toast I took the train to the airport.
I landed in Costa Rica at 2pm after a 4 hour plane ride. I boarded what looked to be a vintage bus from the 1980’s with two other couples for the one hour trip to the resort Ron had booked for us. So far I was not impressed with Costa Rica although our bus driver was very nice and helpful. I felt a bit like a loser for traveling by myself as the other two couples were clearly on a romantic get away. The ones in front of me kissed and groped each other in between pointing out points of interest to each other as the bus rolled slowly down the highway.
Ninety minutes into our one hour trip, we turned off the main road (a two lane highway filled with potholes) and came to an entrance that was protected by high steel gates. The bus driver pushed a button under the dash and the gates swung open.
We proceeded into paradise.
Lush gardens surrounded a very large open air building. The bus pulled into the turn around and upon departure a very beautiful looking, dark skinned woman greeted us in flawless English. “Welcome to Paradise”, she said as I disembarked and handed me a glass off Champaign and a cool wet towel to wipe my hands and face.
I smiled and said, “Thank you.”
Each of us was assigned a personal concierge to expedite the check in process. Ron had arrived ahead of me, of course, so the routine was reduced to making a copy of my passport and receiving a room key and a map of the resort.
I declined the invitation for a personal tour of the resort and set off to find Ron and our room.
I was enjoying the stroll to the room, noticing the large pool, book ended with hot tubs, and capped with a swim up bar area. At the time only two couples were in the pool and I wondered where everyone was. The sun was hot, as in equator hot, and the air was damp with humidity. I began to sweat nearly immediately and longed for the comfort of my bikini.
Ron had secured us a suite at the secluded end of the beach, on the ground floor. Our room opened up to the ocean and I wondered how much this trip had set him back. I found the key unnecessary as the door was open 6 inches and I could hear Ron’s voice on his cell phone with a client İstanbul Escort or potential client.
“Yeah I got it. Tell Mr. Durante that the files have been sent and we are just waiting on his signature to close.”, Ron spoke in his official business voice as I had come to think of it.
I quietly pushed the door open and saw Ron in nothing but a bathing suit with a blue tooth head set on pacing as he did whenever on a conference call. I smiled at the absurdity of him, talking business in his bathing suit.
“No I won’t make that meeting. I have been detained out of the country and will not be back in Chicago until Monday.” A pause. “No there is no way I can do it this weekend. Another, more important investment has come up and I really will be unavailable until Monday.”
I smiled. It always made me feel good when Ron told a client to ‘get bent’ when we had plans. It didn’t always happen, but when it did, it made me feel good; special.
He noticed me as I silently slipped into the room with my roller board. He grinned and pointed to his headset to indicate he was on the phone and then put his fingers to his lips to tell me to be quiet. I grinned back.
He nodded a few times and said, “Yeah I understand. Yeah I can do that.” A pause and then “Okay put him through.”
Ron rolled his eyes and made and up and down motion with this fist over his crotch in the universal ‘jerking off’ sign.
I stifled a laugh with a pillow from the bed as I watched him work.
And then he changed characters and went into business mode. His smile vanished, but his voice was firm and confident. “Ah Mr. Durante, I am so glad we were able to catch up this afternoon.”
A pause.
“Yes sir. I am very pleased we were able to come to terms as well. My staff is working all weekend to pull all the paperwork together, and we should have formal financial commitments by Monday morning.”
Another pause.
“Of course, it is my pleasure sir. We appreciate your business and look forward to closing in Chicago on Monday over lunch at your attorney’s office.” Ron said.
“Yes sir. I would enjoy that very much. Thank you sir and have a nice weekend.” And then he rung off.
Ron’s face broke into a grin as he unclipped his head set and threw it on the counter. “Enough of that shit.” He said grinning.
I smiled and said, “Another notch in your belt stud?”
He laughed and said, “Well nothing is done until the ink is dry, but I think I just saved a deal worth about a billion dollars in syndicated debenture financing. Who’s your daddy now?” He then proceeded to dance around the room pretending to ride an imaginary horse. He was such a goof ball, but a goof ball who was good at what he did.
I giggled not fully understanding what he had just said, but happy that he loved his work.
“And what exactly are debentures?” I asked only mildly interested.
Ron smiled and said, “You really want to talk balance sheet financing at a Costa Rican resort?”
I shrugged, “I am glad to be here and interested in what you do.”
Ron smiled and said, “How about this, you change into something comfortable while I send this last fax off from the front desk, and we will go to the bar to get some rum punch. After which, I will enthrall you with stories of leveraged buyouts, junk bonds, loan syndication, and equity valuation models.”
I grinned and said, “Oh when you say it like that I get so turned on. Let me rinse the airport grime off me and I will meet you at the pool bar.”
“Deal” he said grinning and was off to fax whatever investment bankers faxed on Friday afternoons from the Caribbean.
* * * * * * *
I put on my blue bikini because I like blue and thought it made my tits look good. I then strolled leisurely toward the pool. Ron was sitting there in the pool on a bar stool already next to what could only be described as a knock out red headed woman. As I approached I sized her up. She was stereotypically beautiful. Long red hair pulled back into a pony tail, an oval face with bright blue eyes, a long lean body that suggested she was 5’10 or so, with perfectly perky 36 C tits that I suspected were man made. She also had long legs that appeared longer through the refraction of the water. She wore a purple bikini of the thong variety and pulled it off in a sensual way that only models really can pull off. I guessed her age in the mid-twenties.
As I approached Ron said something and they both laughed. I saw her reach out and squeeze his arm. He didn’t seem to notice but it was a subtle, ‘I’m interested’ queue that another woman would never miss.
A wave of anger and jealously ripped through me and I fought an irrational urge to take a running jump into the pool, grab the red head by the hair, and bash her face into the bar. I was surprised by both the suddenness of the feelings and the intensity.
I thought ‘Jeez what’s wrong with me?’, but then that thought was washed away in a sea of red anger and green jealousy. My skin flushed red and my fists balled at my side.
Ron noticed me and smiled and waved. I did not return his smile and marched toward the pool angrily. His smile died on his face seeing my reaction. He glanced at the red head and back to me in understanding only a couple that had been together for a while could read.